


Body Language

by lunamoths



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Bisexual, Bisexual Ginny Weasley, F/F, Slow Burn, ginny is gay
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-15
Updated: 2018-07-17
Packaged: 2019-03-31 10:48:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13973451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lunamoths/pseuds/lunamoths
Summary: Ginny Weasley is the newest addition to the Holyhead Harpies, excited to accompany the team for the Quidditch World Cup. But one night when she's celebrating, she realises some things about the team's relationships with each other and begins to question her own.This is a work in progress.





	1. Chapter 1

The audience roared when Marion Diaz finally caught the snitch. Ginny grinned, feeling the exhilaration in the air and did a couple loops on her broom. She was the second newest member of the Holyhead Harpies, and the youngest, so such displays of excitement were happily received. The team was well on its way to the Quidditch World Cup finals, and she couldn't wait for August, to finally participate in something she'd loved watching for so long.

Half the team was out celebrating still, and the other half trudged towards their rooms, eager to sleep so they could get up early and begin working out for the next match which was in a few days. Ginny stood in the shower and let the warm water run over her while she thought about what'd happened just a half hour earlier at the pub where Gwenog Jones had led the team and bar patrons in a toast celebrating the win.

"Another one for the books!" Gwenog roared, spilling fire whisky as she raised her glass. Everyone cheered as she downed it, then bent down to sloppily kiss Valmai Morgan, who didn't seem to mind. Ginny laughed and sipped her beer. She loved fire whisky of course, but as she planned on an early morning at the gym, she didn't want to get too plastered. Her roommate Rosemary White rolled her eyes.

"What is it?" asked Ginny.

"I just don't get why Gwenog has to be so obvious is all," said Rosemary. She shrugged and finished her pumpkin juice. She preferred not to drink any alcoholic beverages when she had an early wake up call.

"Obvious?" asked Ginny. "What do you mean? She's just having a bit of fun."

"Don't be ridiculous, Ginny. I know you're young, but I didn't think you were naive. Valmai's her partner." Rosemary said the last sentence scornfully, and rolled her eyes again.

"Partner?" Ginny looked over at the corner where Gwenog and Valmai were getting quite cozy indeed. "I didn't know Gwenog even liked women."

"It's rather an open secret, but I am surprised that you proclaim to be such a big fan and didn't know this. Anyway, I wish she would keep it to herself. I'm gonna go, you coming or catching up later?" Rosemary stood up and barely waited for Ginny to say no before she strode off.

Ginny watched Gwenog and Valmai for a while as she finished drinking her butterbeer. She looked around at her teammates all happily celebrating, not caring. At one point, Gwenog broke away from Valmai to listen to something Alex Kidd whispered in her ear, grinned, and went happily back to snogging while Alex laughed. Ginny'd never known in all these years that her icon, Gwenog Jones, was involved with women. There were occasional rumors of course, especially the one floating around about her decking a man for proposing to her, but beyond that not much else.

"Well, it's not that surprising, I suppose," said Ginny to herself.

"What's not?" Alex Kidd had sat down across from Ginny without her noticing. She grinned.

Ginny felt her cheeks getting hot. The last thing she wanted was for another teammate to mock her naïveté. But she didn't think Alex was like Rosemary. "I just was thinking about Gwenog and Valmai."

Alex chuckled. "Oh were you now? I guess there's more to you than meets the eye, Red."

"What? No! I just idolized Gwenog for ages and hadn't known. Until now. I didn't realize everyone else knew but me, apparently. That's all." Ginny sunk back in her seat feeling embarrassed.

Alex leaned back too. "I am so sorry that Rosemary is your roommate. She is a fantastic Beater, I'll give her that, the best this team's seen in ages. But rather unpleasant to be around sometimes, isn't she? Don't listen to her. Gwenog hasn't been that open about it -- most of the team isn't, in fact. It's a funny world out there still, and we also like a bit of privacy still anyway about our lives. Our gay fans know who's who, and I think they've got some hopes about others."

"What about me?" Ginny asked.

Alex laughed. "Well, you dated Harry Potter, the most famous man in the world. How much more straight could you get?" Ginny frowned. "You are straight, aren't you, Red?"

Ginny opened her mouth to answer but didn't say anything. She looked at Gwenog and Valmai over in the corner. They seemed to be in their own world. She looked again at her other teammates, laughing and cheering. Then she looked back at Alex, who was no longer looking at her but at the barman, hoping to catch his eye for another drink. Her dark hair caught the light, shining, and her tan skin seemed to glow. Everything looked a bit hazy, all of a sudden, and Ginny felt a bit weird. "I should go," she said and stood up. "Thanks for the talk, Alex. I won't worry about Rosemary." And she walked off. Alex called after her, but she didn't hear what she said.

Ginny opened her eyes. She'd been in the shower for ages now, thinking over this more than she meant to. Alex had a point, didn't she? "Don't be ridiculous," she muttered to herself. She turned the water off and reached for her towel. On the way out, she nearly bumped into Alex Kidd, who laughed.

"Fancy bumping into you again tonight, Red! You ran off so fast. I thought maybe I scared you, but I see you're doing fine." Alex was in front of her, in her towel, waiting for Ginny to move. Ginny was also in her towel. She saw the team in their towels and sometimes less every day, so why did this suddenly seem different?

"Yeah. I'm fine. I just was really tired and wanted to get to bed," she said unconvincingly. "So I should get going. Erm. Enjoy your shower."

Alex laughed again. "Don't you worry, Red. I will." Ginny blushed and hurried off to the room she shared with Rosemary.

Ginny tried to close the door quickly and quietly so the light wouldn't come into their room, but Rosemary still groaned and turned off. "Why are you so late?" she asked groggily.

"Sorry. Had a bit of a chat with Alex and wanted a quick shower before sleep." Ginny got into her bed, feeling her muscles ache as she relaxed under the covers. Soon they'll hurt even more tomorrow morning, she thought. A good sort of hurt.

"Alex? Ugh. The biggest lesbo of them all," Rosemary muttered, jolting Ginny out of her thoughts.

"What's your problem?" Ginny said. "She's nice." But Rosemary didn't hear her, because she'd already fallen back asleep. Ginny could hear snoring. "Quite nice, actually." She lay awake for a while, and eventually drifted off, thinking about what Alex's shiny hair would smell like when she was out of the shower.


	2. Chapter 2

Ginny loved the gym. It was always a place where her mind felt clear, focused on nothing more than the number of dead lifts she was working on. She and Rosemary had both gotten up at half past four and, not saying a word to each other, shuffled out of their room and into the gym. Rosemary put her headphones in and headed immediately to the treadmills. Ginny watched her go, wondering if perhaps Rosemary was angry about last night and decided she didn't care. She walked over to the weights.

Weights were her favorite. They made her feel like the strongest person in the world, and sometimes that's exactly what she wanted to be. Really strong and muscular, so that if someone looked at her, all they would see is power. She began setting up the bench press.

The rest of the team, looking visibly tired, began trickling into the gym. Mal Owen came over. They usually spotted each other on the weights and Ginny was relieved to see a friendly face. "How are you?" she asked.

Mal yawned. "Alright. I went to bed early but it doesn't matter for me. Getting up early is a nightmare no matter what. How are you? Did you stay at the pub long?" She waited for Ginny to lie down and stood at the head of the bench, hands ready to catch the bar in case Ginny should drop it.

"A bit. I got tired and decided to leave too, but there were tons of people there when I left." Ginny took a deep breath.

"Yeah, I see Valmai stumbling all over the treadmill," Mal said. "I heard Rosemary got pissy."

"Who said that?" Ginny asked. She was the only one who really experienced Rosemary's attitude so she was surprised to hear that got around.

"Oh, Alex was joking about it on the way over. Are you ready? I'd like to have a go sometime this morning," Mal said impatiently. Ginny reached up and grasped the bar with both hands, inhaled, and brought it down.

An hour and a half later, Ginny felt sufficiently cleansed by the power of weights and cardio and began packing up her stuff. Mal was doing the same, but not as neatly, cramming everything into her gym bag only to have it spill out as she dug around for her wand. "I thought I had it here somewhere," she said, holding her bag with one hand and rifling through it with the other. "I just saw it."

"Isn't that it, underneath your sweatshirt?" Ginny pointed at the pile of clothes on the bench. "Why do you have so much stuff with you anyway?"

"I like to keep my options open," Mal replied. "What if I need one of these things and I didn't have it? Then where would I be?" She picked up the sweatshirt and found the wand. "Thanks."

"You're welcome. Do you want to get something to eat? I'm starving." Ginny hoisted her duffel over her shoulder and watched Mal shove her sweatshirt into her bag. She supposed she should wait for Rosemary, who was unbelievably still running, but she didn't really want to sit with her and attempt conversation.

"Sure," said Mal. "But did you want to wait for Rosemary?" Ginny shook her head. They set off and popped into a diner around the corner from the gym.

Ginny ordered a fruit smoothie and eggs with pancakes and bacon. Mal had coffee. "Oh I know," she laughed, seeing the look on Ginny's face. "Be quiet and don't tell Angus, he'll have a fit if he knows I'm drinking coffee after workouts or that I'm drinking coffee at all. Anyway I'm having eggs and stuff too so it's fine." Angus was the manager of the team and he threw fits about nearly anything that might be considered unhealthy.

"So," said Mal, when the waitress taking their order had left their table.

"So," said Ginny. She couldn't remember talking to Mal much outside of the gym and suddenly felt awkward about asking her for breakfast. It had seemed like a great idea at the time. "Are you good friends with Alex? You said that you walked over on the way together."

Mal took a sip of coffee and made a face before answering. "I suppose so. We hang out sometimes. Why?"

Ginny shrugged. "I just was wondering."

"You were talking to her last night, right? You seemed really upset and then you left. Did she piss you off?" Mal leaned forward. "She does that sometimes."

"No. Not really. The conversation just went in an unexpected direction." Ginny tried to be nonchalant but couldn't help feeling like Mal was pumping her for information. She didn't really know many of the team members that well yet, and she wasn't quite sure who was trustworthy and who had a big mouth. It seemed like Mal might be in the latter group, and a gossip to boot.

"She does that a lot too," replied Mal. She was dumping a sugar packet into her coffee. "She likes to try and shake people out of their comfort zones. Which can be fine, but sometimes it's annoying. She did that to me when I first joined the team and I felt shaken for days. Like she saw in my soul or something."

Ginny decided to switch topics. She wasn't ready for another conversation to veer in an unexpected direction again. "So what's the deal with Rosemary? It's been months but I still hardly know a thing about her, except her apparently negative opinions on the other girls."

"Ugh," said Mal. "Queen of misery, that's the deal. She actually can't stand Alex. Okay, so Rosemary started around the same time I did, maybe a little afterwards. Who cares. Anyway, Alex made a move on her, and it freaked Rosemary out."

"Really?" Ginny was interested.

"Really. It's kind of hilarious except Rosemary is a big homophobe, so it's, you know, not." Mal folded her hands. "I hope my food comes soon. I'm really hungry."

"Did Alex make a move on you too? Is that a thing she does?" Ginny asked. Mal gave her a funny look.

"No... I don't think I'm her type. Why do you care?"

"No reason," said Ginny. She felt a little uncomfortable about the way Mal was looking at her, like she was trying to see through her. "Oh look, the food's here already." They paused as the waitress set their steaming plates down. Mal clapped her hands and picked up her fork, digging in.

"Oh, it's hot. So, anyway, what was it like dating Harry Potter?" She looked up eagerly from her plate.

"It was good, I guess," said Ginny. She hadn't expected this switch in topic. "People keep asking me that, actually. I'm not sure what they want to know."

"I dunno! He's famous. I don't know anyone else who has dated a famous person. I'm not counting Gwenog and Valmai. It's just interesting! He's a dishy bloke! You have the insider story!" Mal gestured her fork in the air. "You're like, the only person who has dated The Boy Who Lived. It's just cool."

Ginny chewed slowly, thinking about what Mal was saying. "I suppose so, but... I mean, of course I know he's famous and not many people have access to him, but he's a person, same as you and me. He's been through a lot, Mal, and I think he's the last person who would think there's anything special enough about him to be worthy of an insider story. And of course he was... he is special to me, but not in the way that I think a gossip rag would appreciate."

Mal didn't seem disappointed by this answer. "Fair enough," she said cheerfully, and shoveled more food into her mouth. Ginny, however, had set her fork down, losing some interest in her meal.

She hadn't spoken with Harry since she made it onto the team, and before that, they hadn't really spoken much since their break up. She heard news about him sometimes through Ron and Hermione, but as far as she could tell, it had seemed for the best to limit contact a little bit while he worked through some things. She wanted to be respectful of the distance this seemed to demand, and while it had been hard, it slowly started to feel a bit more normal each day. Of course, training with the Harpies had proven to be a good distraction, but she felt bad that she hadn't been thinking about him as much these days. She thought about Alex's question from the night before, and wondered what Alex would say if she knew that Ginny was thinking about Harry and what he was doing right now. Did that automatically mean she was straight? Did thinking about Alex more than she was thinking about Harry mean she wasn't straight? She couldn't deny that there were still thoughts lingering from their encounter in the baths before bed, but nothing had really occurred so what exactly did that mean?

"Hello?" Mal was waving her hand in front of Ginny's face. "Are you there? Are you finished?"

"What?" Ginny looked at Mal and the waitress. "Oh, um yeah, sure. I'm finished." She passed her plate up to the waitress who sighed and took it.

"What was that all about? Where did you go?" asked Mal.

"Nowhere." Ginny blushed to be thinking about Alex in her towel at breakfast.

"It sure seemed like somewhere. You barely ate anything. We better get going, if Angus wants us on the field by 8." Mal stood up, flinging her lumpy bag over her shoulder. "At least finish your smoothie. I'll get the check."

On the way out, Ginny had a sudden thought. "What exactly did Alex do to Rosemary? You said a move but what was it?" They began boarding the bus which had fortuitously pulled up just as they arrived at the stop.

"It wasn't anything major. You have to understand, Rosemary is hot. Plus she's mean, so, like, she's super hot. Some of the girls were really into her. Fresh blood and all, and well, I think trying to keep their sexualities quiet all the time gets to some of them. Anyway, Alex was really into her, and for whatever reason, was convinced that Rosemary was into her too. And one night was waiting for her in their room, all ready to go, if you know what I mean."

Ginny couldn't even begin to imagine what that meant and her cheeks felt warm.

"That's why you've got Rosemary. They used to be roommates. After Rosemary freaked out and proved that she was quite not into girls, Alex switched with Gwendolyn and started rooming with Iola. Then Gwendolyn got traded, we drafted you, and here you are. That's why Rosemary can't stand being here. I think she's hoping to get traded out onto a more hetero team. Good luck with that." With that, Mal popped some gum in her mouth and started chewing loudly. She held her pack out to Ginny. "Want some?"

Ginny shook her head, wanting to absorb this new information. The bus was loud, despite containing a bunch of hungover women. They sang and laughed all the way to practice, while Ginny stared out the window, saying nothing.


	3. Chapter 3

At the end of practice, everyone seemed a little deflated. Angus had worked them hard, and the ones who still had hangovers didn't fare so well. Ginny tried her best to avoid both Alex and Rosemary, but Alex turned and gave her a wink in the showers when Ginny wasn't expecting it. She blushed, trying not to notice the suds cascading down Alex's body, and gave a small wave. Alex laughed and turned back around to rinse. Mal was dressed before Ginny was, and waited for her to finish up.

"Are you hungry?" she asked.

Not really," Ginny said. She zipped up her bag and they walked out from the dark rooms into the sunlight. "I might wander for a bit. I'll see you later.

Mal shrugged and waved. Ginny waved back, then turned, walking in the opposite direction.

The bell chimed as she entered her favorite shop, _A Little Bit O' Magic_ , and smiled at Edith, the owner. Edith had no idea that Ginny was a witch, something Ginny found really refreshing. It was nice to escape into "Muggle world" for a bit, and she supposed she got that feeling from her father, who loved Muggle artifacts and was endlessly fascinated by them. She giggled to herself running her hands over a Muggle washboard, thinking about her dad and how much he'd love this store.

Ginny also just liked thrifted objects. There was something about a piece of sentiment that had a history. A person had loved these things deeply, even if they might seem like junk. And she wasn't afraid of them anymore, like someone who had once owned Voldemort's old diary should be. She used to think everything was bewitched to trick her, but now she was finding it was that people weren't what they seemed, rather than these abandoned objects. 

Ginny stopped in front of the bookshelf. The best thing about Edith's shop was that she allowed you to read the books on the premises and, in fact, encouraged it with the help of a worn armchair and a tea table with biscuits. Ginny picked up a book and settled in the chair, not really feeling like she wanted to get back to the Harpies any time soon. 

It was a romance. Skimming romances, her favorite pastime. Of course it was fun to read the entire story: the strong woman who is very independent and very reluctant to let some rogue into her life but ultimately she does, because he empowers her to make some very important decisions. But it was also fun to just read the sex scenes, especially when she didn't have much time to read an entire book anymore. She stopped on the first; a passionate kiss between the lovers who had just experienced some turmoil and tension. Then the second, where they were a bit exploratory and went a little farther. She was looking for a third when she noticed a sentence about a woman's breasts, and stopped to read.

_"Undressed, Andrea examined herself in the mirror, wondering what it was that drew Colin to her. She ran her hands down her body, and looked at her reflection from all sides. She made faces while she held her breasts, enjoying their fullness but feeling a little silly. Running her fingers down them, she thought about Colin's hands and the maid who had clearly been watching before she interrupted them."_

Ginny sat up. The maid who had clearly been watching? The heroine was thinking about her? She knew what that meant and looked around, like someone might be watching _her_. Edith was dusting some knickknacks on the opposite of the room, humming to herself and completely oblivious. Ginny leaned back, trying to calm the pounding that had started but whether it came from her chest or further below, she couldn't be sure. She read the description of the back but it didn't reference another woman, only the rogue, Colin. She continued reading.

_"Andrea's breath quickened at the thought of the maid, who had had a slightly impish smile when she walked into the room. She had been attractive, with blue eyes and dark brown hair twisted up messily as if she had just been tumbled herself. Andrea wondered what the maid would think if she were to walk in right now, seeing her nude in front of her mirror, with something else in mind other than her reflection."_

The door chimed and Ginny jerked away from the book. She heard a voice that sounded familiar, and Edith's greeting, so she slowly looked around the chair and recognized Rosemary's blonde ponytail. Hastily, Ginny shoved the book back onto the shelf and picked up her bag, eager to get out of the shop without being seen. 

"Going so soon?" Edith chirped. Ginny sighed, her hand about to push the door open. She turned and smiled.

"That's right. I remembered I had some things to do. Hi, Rosemary, I didn't see you."

Rosemary didn't smile. "You rushed out of the gym pretty fast with Mal, too. You're rushing everywhere these days."

"Just kind of busy lately, I guess," Ginny replied. She hoisted her bag and forced herself to make eye contact with Rosemary. "Will you be around later? Would you like to do something?"

"I have a date." Rosemary said. She turned back around to Edith. "I was interested in some jewelry. She always talks about the necklaces you have here." Edith immediately started bustling behind the counter to show Rosemary some of their most unique and expensive items.

Ginny pushed the door open and left so quietly, they didn't notice.

 


	4. Chapter 4

On her bed, later, Ginny stared at the ceiling and wondered what would have happened if Rosemary had seen what she was reading. Mal wasn't kidding... Rosemary was incredibly unfriendly. It was hard enough to connect with her as someone who typically liked men. Ginny could not imagine how difficult it had been for Alex, and wondered in what world did Alex assume Rosemary liked her, since she seemed to like no one. 

Ginny also kept thinking about what she had read. The book had been so infuriatingly vague! But it was calling to her. She thought about Andrea being naked and thinking about the maid. It _was_ vague, but also incredibly obvious. She'd never encountered a romance novel that had another woman mentioned like that, especially by the main heroine. And she had to admit she was intrigued. She was just as intrigued by the nameless maid as the character Andrea was. "Andrea," she whispered as she held her hand up towards the ceiling. She quickly snatched her hand down as the door suddenly opened.

Rosemary walked in huffily. "That woman charges so much for a bunch of junk. I don't understand why you like to go there." She dropped her bag on the bed and opened the closet, glaring at her clothes.

"I just like to look at the old stuff there. How did you find that place anyway?" Ginny turned on her side and curled up, so she was facing Rosemary and her closet. 

"You talk about it all the time so I thought it must have worthwhile Muggle items. I ended up going to a wizard store instead. I can't deal with Muggle things!" Rosemary shook her head. She pulled out a few dresses and lay them on her bed. "I hate dates."

"Why are you going?" Ginny didn't understand why her roommate always seemed to be in a horrible mood.

"Because there's nothing better to do. I don't fancy hanging out with only girls in my spare time. I want to be admired by a man. It's nice, don't you think so?" Rosemary held up a slinky dress the color of plums and turned to look at herself in the mirror. Then she frowned and tossed it on her bed. "Well?"

"I guess it's nice," said Ginny. "What was wrong with that one?"

"It makes me look frumpy. I'm going to try some of these on." Normally the women just dressed and undressed in their rooms, regardless of their roommate's presence, but Rosemary was the only one who took her clothes into the showers and changed there. Ginny had been extensively questioned about it by the others, although she had no answers. She rolled back to face the ceiling again and sighed. Lost in her thoughts, she was startled when the door opened again and propped herself on her elbows, expecting a glam Rosemary but instead faced Alex.

Alex grinned. "I noticed the evil queen went off to change, so I wanted to invite you out. Everyone's getting drinks tonight!"

"Oh... I think I might stay in tonight. I'm not feeling so well," Ginny lied. A look of concern flashed briefly on Alex's face, but then she smiled again and shrugged. 

"If you change your mind..." She turned. "I better get out of here before she sees me!"

"Don't be so juvenile," Rosemary said. She had changed, and come back wearing a skin-tight and low-cut red dress with a glittery necklace that hung just above her cleavage. With her blonde hair flowing around her shoulders, and her dark red lipstick, it was easy to see why Rosemary was highly sought after by the rest of the team. Especially with that attitude of neither wanting nor caring about anyone. Ginny felt a little jealous when she noticed Alex's subtle regard. Unfortunately, Rosemary noticed too.

"Oh, Alex," she said, tossing her hair over her shoulders and exposing her slender neck. "You know I'm out of your league." She walked over to the closet and hung up her discarded outfits, then bent forward, quite obviously offering Ginny and Alex a generous look down her dress, as she put on her heels. She checked her make-up in the mirror, pursing her lips and smirking. 

Ginny turned to look at Alex, not realizing she'd already left the room. Rosemary heaved a big sigh, still looking herself. "Poor thing," she said condescendingly.

"What do you mean?" Ginny knew she was being baited but had to ask because she was really dying to know all about this drama between Rosemary and Alex. She watched Rosemary review herself, running her hands down her dress and checking each angle.

"The poor thing is just obsessed with me." Rosemary turned and examined her backside. "She's always watching what I am doing. It's kind of pathetic."

Ginny crossed her legs, watching Rosemary admiring herself. "I heard you were roommates once." Rosemary stopped and looked at her.

"That's right," she said slowly. "And she was worse then, completely overbearing, and imagined me in love with her. As if. I got a change immediately. That's all." She checked herself one more time, and said, "I have to leave. Don't wait up." Ginny watched her go out the door and imagined the rest of the girls swooning when they saw her. She could see why Alex had a crush on Rosemary. She was gorgeous, with an amazing body that she worked on with a feverish devotion, and somehow her meanness made her even more alluring. Being skewered by Rosemary sometimes felt like a gift, because she was paying attention to you. The way she was touching her body while looking at herself in the mirror reminded Ginny of the book she'd been reading -- Rosemary clearly enjoyed the audience, even if she didn't actually seem to like who was in it. But she was showing off for Alex, and then for Ginny. It was almost as if she knew what Ginny was thinking about, because she'd never really acknowledged her like this before. Previously their interactions had been brief but polite; now it seemed a little charged. 

Ginny allowed herself to create a new scenario based on what just happened. What if Ginny was still in her bed, talking to Alex, and Rosemary still breezed in, but this time, while they all admired her in the mirror, Rosemary looked up at Alex. Alex walked over and touched Rosemary's face. They started kissing. Ginny's pulse quickened at the thought. They started kissing while she was watching from her bed. They didn't care that she was still there. Alex caressed the shoulder of Rosemary's dress, then pulled it down kissing her shoulder and then her neck. Rosemary was watching Ginny while Alex was still touching her and Ginny started to put her hand under her shirt when Alex burst back in the room. Ginny froze.

"Did she leave? Are you seriously going to stay here by yourself? What are you doing?" 

"Just changing," Ginny replied meekly. "I decided to go with you guys after all." Alex gave her a thumbs up and smiled.

"I'll be just outside. We'll all go together in a big group." When Alex left, Ginny closed her eyes. That had been a little too close, and she realized she would need to be a little more careful. She was lucky it was just Alex, but she couldn't imagine what would have happened had Rosemary come in. She changed her shirt to a clean one, and then turned off the lights and shut the door to go join the others. 


	5. Chapter 5

Alex was waiting outside for Ginny. "Come on!" she said. "Everyone else has left already!" She grabbed Ginny's hand, and Ginny allowed herself to enjoy the warmth that emanated from Alex's strong grip. She enjoyed being led down the halls, out the door, down the street, until they stopped in front of the pub where a few of the girls were already starting a second round. 

Alex pushed open the door and yelled, "I have Ginny!" She held their hands up while everyone cheered. Ginny smiled giddily, almost drunk on the jubilation of the crowd. Then Alex let go of Ginny's hand, running towards Gwenog and Valmai, laughing and joking, and Ginny felt a little less warm. She wandered to the bar and ordered a firewhiskey from the bartender, who was handsome enough and certainly knew it but even his wink couldn't bolster Ginny's mood. She sat down and cradled the glass in her hand. Every so often, she ventured looks over towards Alex, Gwenog, and Valmai, the three of them looking very cozy and extremely happy and incredibly exclusive. 

"Penny for your thoughts!" A familiar voice whispered in her ear. Ginny turned and nearly bumped into Mal, who had bent close to Ginny's head. "Hello!" Mal didn't seem embarrassed and sat down on the stool next to Ginny's. "How are you!" Her face was also very red, clearly the result of having had a couple drinks. 

"Oh, hi, Mal," Ginny said. Her drink was almost empty so she started waving to the bartender, trying to get his attention. Mal was watching her carefully, almost as if she was studying, and Ginny was trying to ignore it. She didn't really feel like entertaining Mal and wished she'd stayed in the dorms after all.

The bartender came back over, and Ginny asked for a refill. He nodded. Mal leaned over the bar and touched his hand. "When you get a chance, do you think you could bring me a butterbeer?" The bartender winked at her, which further deflated Ginny since she was apparently not the only woman to be winked at, and he headed off to fill their orders.

"Do you have something with him then?" Ginny asked. She was annoyed and her question sounded a little hostile to her. 

Apparently Mal thought so too because she gave Ginny a weird look. "He's cute, but honestly, if you flirt with him you have a better chance of getting your order quickly. Is that a problem?" 

Ginny stood up. "I am just tired of everyone acting like it is totally normal to just flirt with each other all the time. It's so misleading. Completely misleading. And I'm sick of it and I'm going home." She left, propelled by her sudden fury, and allowed the door to shut heavily behind her. A fleeting satisfaction, but still, she was glad to be out of the bar. She started walking down the street towards the dorms when she heard her name being called and running footsteps.

"You walk fast!" Mal swore, panting. "I had to wait for the bartender so I could pay for the drinks, thanks by the way, and then you were just gone and no one knew where you went! And then you didn't wait for me while I tried to catch up to you! What is your problem, Ginny? You're all over the place lately."

Ginny slowed down, but didn't say anything. Mal's breathing slowed, and she walked quietly next to Ginny. Even though Ginny still felt mad for reasons she wasn't really sure of, she appreciated the company. "I'm just tired," she said. "I think I'm feeling stressed out about the next match."

Mal didn't respond, but she looked sideways at Ginny for a moment. Then she tilted her head as if thinking. They were nearly at their dorms, and Ginny started wondering if she should say something else when Mal spoke.

"I know it's easy to get lost in your head, but when that happens to me, I lay outside and look up at the stars to remind myself of how big this universe is and how small I am in comparison. I'm not going to ask you what you're really thinking about, but I will say this. Alex cares about a lot of people. She takes you under her wing and makes you feel really special, seen. But you can't, I mean it, Ginny, you can't think about it too much or you will make yourself crazy and lose your focus. We brought you on the team because of your incredible focus as a Seeker. The last thing we need, especially when we're so close to the Cup, is for you to lose it." Mal pushed open the door and went inside. Ginny just stood there. What Mal had said, she wasn't expecting that. It was true Alex's little attentions made her feel special, and it was also true that it was incredibly distracting. She looked up at the sky, noticing for the first time how many stars were out, bright and twinkling. 

"Hey." Ginny looked down. Mal had come back and stuck her face out the door. "If you like that, there's more where that came from." She held the door open as Ginny walked in. "Come on. Follow me." Mal started at a brisk pace down to the opposite end of the hallway, where there was a staircase that Ginny never used before. Ginny followed Mal up the staircase, passing each level until they reached a door at the top. It was locked to the public, but Mal opened it with a key she pulled from her pocket.

"No one ever comes up here. It's bewitched so you can't just open it with a spell, you have to use this key," Mal whispered. She waited as Ginny stepped out, and then she closed the door gently so it didn't make a sound. "Here we are, Ginny. On top of the world and much closer to the stars." She watched Ginny walk to the edge and peer over at the small people walking around and the tiny beams of light coming from tiny homes way out in the distance. 

"It's beautiful!" Ginny said. Mal beamed. She laid her coat down, then sat on it, and Ginny joined her. They sat silently for a while, looking up at the sky, and sometimes Ginny just looked around, amazed by the smallness of everything. She looked at Mal, too, grateful for her kindness on a night when she didn't realize she had needed that. 

Ginny finally spoke, and when she did, she regretted breaking the comfortable silence that had grown between them. "So how did you know... about Alex?"

Mal stiffened, then relaxed and groaned. "How do you think, Ginny? She got to me, too." She looked down. "Like I said, she likes to take newbies under her wing, and she has this way of making you feel incredibly special. Like you're the only person she's ever paid attention to in the entire world. It's a nice feeling. But I realized pretty quickly that it wasn't really anything, it's just how she is. I'm tired. I think I'll go to bed." She stood up, waited for Ginny to get up, then picked up her coat. Shaking it out, she added, "Alex isn't the only person that thinks that about you, you know."

Ginny watched Mal go inside, then took one last look at the far-off houses surrounding them. There were fewer lights on now, and it was slowly getting darker.

She trudged down the hallway, thinking about what Mal had said. Ginny was slowly starting to realize what Mal, and probably also Alex, already did. That she was possibly interested in Alex Kidd not just as a friend, but something a little more than that. Alex's sudsy body flashed in her mind and Ginny grew a little warm. But why did this start happening now? 

Ginny opened the door to her room and flopped on her bed. It was strange to think about, considering how many boys' hearts she'd broken at Hogwarts. But the truth was, something had been missing with each and every boy she dated. When she kissed them or let them feel her up, her mind was elsewhere. It was even elsewhere when she fooled around with Michael Corner for the first time in an empty classroom. While pleased to have been first among her friends, she realized that otherwise, she didn't care all that much for Michael's fumbling caresses.

She also always felt closer to the girls, Hermione Granger and Luna Lovegood, who were there for her and welcoming and safe. She looked up to Hermione, but there were times when her gaze lingered and her affection felt a little stronger than it was supposed to be. But she usually shook herself out of it. Somehow, instinctively, she knew Hermione wasn't like that, so it would have been useless to think about her in a certain way. But the idea had still been there, nudging. 

Then there was Harry. Harry, Harry, Harry. Harry was definitely different from Michael or Dean Thomas or anyone else. Ginny had felt safe and welcomed with him, too. She had cared about him, and she still did, she admitted. She missed Harry, and frequently wondered how he was doing. 

It was kind of confusing, especially when she realized the intensity with which she thought about Harry Potter was exactly the same as when she thought about Alex Kidd.

None of her friends ever talked about other girls at Hogwarts, except maybe to discuss some gossip. Sometimes it felt like there was an animosity between some of them, especially within the houses. Obviously there were rivalries with other houses; Hermione always bristled whenever Pansy Parkington was hanging around, but Ginny always noticed that relations were tense between Hermione, Lavender Brown and Parvati Patil, too. Way before Ron was the final dividing factor, in fact. Make the wrong move, get a little too close, and it was easy to get called "a lesbo", especially when you looked awkward and hadn't had a boyfriend yet. Then it was like you were marked and you would definitely never have one in school after that.

That had been the 1990s. And sure, it was a few years later and people might be more accepting, so to speak, but Ginny still noticed women prefacing sentences with "Now I'm not interested in women but..." or "I'm definitely not gay but..." before going on to talk about how pretty someone was. She still noticed people rolling their eyes when they discussed someone who had previously dated men and now were dating women. She noticed this and stayed quiet, thinking she had best keep her feelings and thoughts to herself as these were not women she probably wanted to share them with. But if not those women, then who?

She sighed, pulling her snarled hair up into a ponytail. She'd brush it later, if she remembered. It felt pointless, nearly just as pointless as it did trying to rumble through her feelings. She'd think she had it sorted out, but then of course she still ended up with massive snarls by the end of it all.

Noises and loud laughter from the corridor told Ginny that her team, including her roommate, was coming back. She quickly pulled out her polishing kit and started busying herself with her broom so that when they inevitably threw open her door, she was ready to face them.


	6. Chapter 6

The next day felt strange to Ginny. She'd tossed and turned all night, and even when she did fall asleep, she never actually felt asleep. Every so often, she had to shake her head, and sounds seemed too loud, colors too bright, time was spinning past her while she was just standing in the same place. Rosemary never waited for her this morning, so Ginny had boarded the bus to practice by herself, and sat by herself since everyone seemed to have a seatmate. Even Mal, who didn't make eye contact. Alex was sitting with Iona who seemed to be enjoying the attention she was getting, Ginny noted irately. 

Ginny sank into a seat in the back, and crossed her arms, glaring out the window. 

She glared all the way to practice, and glared while everyone else got off the bus first. Then she gathered her things, and slowly made her way down the aisle. Ginny glared at her locker in the changing area, and she glared when she put on her equipment. She glared at Angus as he went over plays he wanted them to try. Gwenog gave Valmai a quick kiss before soaring off, and Ginny glared at them too.

Practice went horribly. Ginny didn't particularly feel like finding the Snitch, and instead kept watching Alex as she practiced some new formations with Mal in the air. Angus yelled at her several times for not moving, while some of the other girls watched, whispering. It didn't matter to Ginny that she was humiliating herself. She willed Alex to look at her, even for a moment, but she never did. 

Everyone went off to the showers when practice ended, but Ginny had to help with the clean up and put the equipment away as punishment for her lack of motivation during practice. Angus yelled at her one more time, then stalked off to his office, muttering darkly. Ginny took her time, carefully locking up the Bludgers, Quaffle, and Snitch in their trunk, and slowly carried the rest of the equipment to the locker where it was all stored and double-checked the lock to make sure it was secure. She hoped to miss most of the team, especially Alex, while she took her shower, so her heart sank when she entered the locker room, realizing that they were all still there laughing and joking. Quietly she shrugged off her clothes, and picked up her towel, heading into the showers. No one noticed, which just figured, Ginny thought, as she turned the water on to scalding and let it run over her. Ginny stayed in the shower for as long as possible, until the cheerful noises seemed to subside. She was surprised when she stepped out to find Mal sitting on a bench, waiting for her.

"Hey," said Mal. She held out a chocolate bar. "Seems like you could use this, but don't tell Angus."

"Thanks," Ginny said. She opened the door of her locker and paused, trying to figure out how she'd maneuver her underwear on in front of Mal. Normally everyone stripped down in front of each other, but it suddenly felt a bit strange with just one other person in the room.

"Oh please," said Mal. "I won't look." She turned while Ginny quickly pulled on her underpants and the rest of her clothing. Then she took the chocolate from Mal, snapped it into a few pieces and offered them.

Mal selected a piece of chocolate and loudly bit into it. "Are you okay?" she asked. Ginny shrugged, and they started walking out.

"I don't know," Ginny said, after a while. "I don't really understand what's going on, with Alex, or with me, or anything. Then I was thinking about Harry again, and wondering how he's doing, and I don't know. I thought that maybe Alex was... it was like she was talking to me and now suddenly she isn't. But now it's left me wondering about me."

Mal nodded. "She does that. Unfortunately. I did say last night she has a way of making you feel special. And obviously, she's gorgeous. I'm from a small town, so it was really exciting to have this beautiful woman take an interest in me, when no one else had before and you'd pretty much be stoned for hoping for that kind of thing. It sucked, but I got through it, and you will too, Ginny! Let's go do something!" She started to turn the corner.

Ginny stopped. "Wait, Mal, are you...?" Mal looked back and laughed. 

"That took you long enough to figure out," she replied. "Yes, I am...." and Mal punctuated this with a goofy face. 

"How did you know?" Ginny whispered. "I mean, when did you first know that you might be ..." she trailed off, not able to quite say it.

"Oh, well..." Mal looked embarrassed. "My brothers were big fans of Monty Python and always watched the reruns, and I never got into it, but I always enjoyed it when Carol Cleveland was on it, you know who she is? Oh wait you didn't grow up Muggle, never mind, well she was in her underwear a few times and I just... knew."

"Just like that?" Ginny asked. Mal nodded. 

"Just like that. But you know, it's not like that for everyone. Sometimes it takes people a little longer to figure out who they're attracted to. It's not always easy, and it makes sense that you might not have thought about it until now." Mal looked at Ginny. "It's okay, really. Let's go get some lunch and do something else before we have to head back." 

She turned around, and Ginny took a breath and followed. Her head was spinning, but she knew without a doubt that she could trust Mal.


End file.
